I'm in a living nightmare as I watch my life slowly slip past me. I am once again in tin-manville. My muscles are so beyond tight- both external and internal...... my GI symptoms have been thru the roof for a few months now... and that started to calm down only to be triggered once again.
My body needs relief , but I have no clue how to get it the relief it needs. Muscles that were never tight are now tight...
I had PT- and basically my PC muscle is at a 3 (but she was being rather nice with her scale) we think this is most likely due to a long drive I was forced to have due to a bad snow storm last week.
So frustrating that most normal humans were in their cars during the same storm and arent like I am right now.
I was doing fairly well for awhile holding my own.......and now this... but only worse because now both external and internal are flaring at once. Mostly one sided...but it still feels so raw- the release work usually does have this affect, but for some reason I just cant mentally deal with this right now. I want it to leave now and be gone for good.... I want my life back.
So , close to the holidays and I feel this lousy- how will I ever sit thru dinner.
On top of it all I think I may be going yeasty again, It seems I just cannot catch a break.
I need a miracle- I need these muscles to release, they dont need to be so angry any more they really can relax- if only it were that simple.
I will pray for my Christmas miracle- and a cure for whatever this is that I have.
Im tired of being called a complicated case, or told no you are different than others that have the three amigos. Why must I be so different.
Hopefully, one day in the near future I will be out of this flare just like the others that came before it.
this post seems to be all over the place-
I guess if I have to look at a positive..... I was a tad freaked that the vulva symptoms had returned, but upon finding out the PC muscle was super tight this always usual brings the vulva burning back ..... so it is a positive that if I get that to calm down... this should resolve itself.
I have gotten out of way worse flares- the question this time around is do I have the mental capacity to get thru this one.
Do I have the willpower to not slouch, or type to one side in bed on the laptop...to not sit, stand, walk for any length of time. Can I get myself out of this flare?
