Monday, February 28, 2011

or not....

I think I may have over done things today- I went out to over five stores...... in and out of my car... I felt OK while out but once home... things felt off.... frustration really set in and I took a hot shower in hopes it would relieve some of the pain.......... it didnt do all that much I attempted self PT

I think I reproduced the pain, but now it is the wee hours of the morning and I have burning, I think vulva or bladder possibly....  Im feeling rather down as well... 

A positive is that I was able to go out and go to those stores- walk around etc.   things I havent been able to really do in awhile.

I just wish that the strenghtening I am doing would be more noticeable to me....  ugh, and grrrr

I also did some research on SI joint dysfunction-  I was diagnosed with this... and the symptoms I read are most of what I am dealing with.... it is rather scary really.... how much the SI joint could possibly be playing a role in all of this.   It seems that the treatment is building up the muscles around the joint to give it more stability, which is what I am working on.


Also someone who is sorta new in my life- who I thought was becoming a trusted friend... well... i have had to take a step back from them now....they clearly dont understand all I go thru- they seem compassionate, offer to help etc-  but I find myself distancing from them, yet wanting to talk to them at the same time.... an odd feeling of sorts. I put on an act for awhile with this person...but then when I had a setback...things got messed up..they said something that I did not appreciate..and now they are fine with just letting me be-  but is that really what I want?? not really...   I dunno sometimes I feel like the only people I can relate to are those that suffer from this stuff-    

Emotionally I am in a really weird place- missing people from my past who up and walked out when I got sick-  but am I missing them...or the me I was when I was with them...hmmm.  I have even had dreams with some of them in it.... 

tomorrows agenda will be to buy a new core ball-  I am looking forward to getting that in hopes to speed up the muscle building process.  other than that I will be resting...

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Cautiously optimistic

I have been hesitant to blog-  call me a tad superstitious...  after my last blog post- I thought I would never recover-
looking back on symptoms- I think that was a combo of hormones, stress, gluten, GI symptoms.. Pelvis gone wacky.

For the last two weeks - although I have seen ups and downs...

I am happy to report that I am back to doing strengthening exercises-  it is baby steps..but  huge accomplishment and yes it is in the beginning stages...and I am nervous that one bad flare and I will have to abort and loose all the ground I have gained(or what little so far)   so while I am there doing my strengthening next to those healthy running miles on the treadmill-  I can visualize my muscles getting stronger in hopes that one day the muscles will be strong enough to support my pelvis... so it will stay in alignment.  If it stays in alignment there is hope my PFD will improve as well.

Also another bit of the puzzle was solved....  it seems that when I have what is perceived by my body as vulva pain it is actually my PC muscle that is tight.  Last PT session it really hurt when she released it on the one side and I was amazed at how the PT reproduced some of my pain.... odd how that muscle can wreak so much havoc and cause burning??    I wish i was better at self PT-  maybe one day I will be. 

My Gi symptoms are still bothering me however, which is adding to some PFD tightness...

I still get frustrated when my muscles get super tight from any kind of activity... seems I cant walk forward without flaring something... frustrating when just taking out the trash causes this type of reaction.

For now I will take any gains I can get and remain optimistic  and if nothing else if I do have a setback I will have this entry to fallback on to remember just how far I have really come. 

Friday, February 4, 2011

out of nowhere it now with me

Last week was terrible.... i was taking two showers a day just to try and feel better and NOTHING would work.  Baking soda and water, did nothing...and I knew I was in trouble.  although instictively I knew what needed to be done to my pelvis I just couldnt do it to myself.

I had PT this week- and the culprit was discovered -  an  outward pelvic tilt and an obtrator  that was very unhappy..........but I was thrilled when the PT reproduced the pain I was feeling all week long.... I should have known it was that muscle as I was experiencing cramping and hip pain.  

My hip still hurts, and I cant figure out what is causing my symptoms...I dont know if it is bladder, yeast, or possibly hormonal.... it is sad that I have taken a step backwards with this pain....... because I felt so much better after the PT session.... so I dunno what happened.

I took a nap tonite, I felt like I had a fever.... i dont have the patience to wait this out- I find that the most difficult in all of this.... I was used to one norm and now have been thrown this curve- 

My PT did give me some hope she feels my PF is doing so much better and encouraged me to add strenghtening in attempts to keep the pelvis more aligned.   im sad that I cant start that now with these symptoms like this.    I have tried just about everything I can think of to relieve this pain... i dont know where it is even coming from.   Feels like possibly the bladder and IC muscle. 

Praying that in a few days this goes away...and things start to calm down or sort themselves out.
In case this was or is related to diet changes i have gone back to the bland diet....
ugh what a living nightmare this is