or not....

I think I may have over done things today- I went out to over five stores...... in and out of my car... I felt OK while out but once home... things felt off.... frustration really set in and I took a hot shower in hopes it would relieve some of the pain.......... it didnt do all that much ....so I attempted self PT

I think I reproduced the pain, but now it is the wee hours of the morning and I have burning, I think vulva or bladder possibly....  Im feeling rather down as well... 


A positive is that I was able to go out and go to those stores- walk around etc.   things I havent been able to really do in awhile.


I just wish that the strenghtening I am doing would be more noticeable to me....  ugh, and grrrr

I also did some research on SI joint dysfunction-  I was diagnosed with this... and the symptoms I read are most of what I am dealing with.... it is rather scary really.... how much the SI joint could possibly be playing a role in all of this.   It seems that the treatment is building up the muscles around the joint to give it more stability, which is what I am working on.

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Also someone who is sorta new in my life- who I thought was becoming a trusted friend... well... i have had to take a step back from them now....they clearly dont understand all I go thru- they seem compassionate, offer to help etc-  but I find myself distancing from them, yet wanting to talk to them at the same time.... an odd feeling of sorts. I put on an act for awhile with this person...but then when I had a setback...things got messed up..they said something that I did not appreciate..and now they are fine with just letting me be-  but is that really what I want?? not really...   I dunno sometimes I feel like the only people I can relate to are those that suffer from this stuff-    


Emotionally I am in a really weird place- missing people from my past who up and walked out when I got sick-  but am I missing them...or the me I was when I was with them...hmmm.  I have even had dreams with some of them in it.... 



tomorrows agenda will be to buy a new core ball-  I am looking forward to getting that in hopes to speed up the muscle building process.  other than that I will be resting...