Tuesday, January 10, 2012

over did it again

so i know why i am flaring... that is a plus.
another positive is my period did NOT try to kill me this month..i just wish it stuck around a little longer than 3 days... my PFD doesnt li
ke when it abruptly exit 

Im upset tonite... depressed even... not because of this setback, but because it seems as if everyone in my life just decided to suck all at once today.  I wouldnt care normally... but tonite I am very sensitive. 
i feel very alone... and stuck... and in a setback where mentally i need to remain positive so I dont slip down that slipperly slope.

I hate relying on people hate it....   im writing here in the blog format so I dont sent out emails saying I am upset with those I am so that they will in turn lash at me more.  I admit Im not in a good place, but Im better than these people.. judgemental people.

the one appointment i needed to keep tomorrow i canceled... because I overdid it...  i have to think is my life really worth it...
i wonder what will happen if I just go into hibernation from these judgemental people..

really im down because of them.... ugh.. really... I need to pull myself up and soon..
another positive LAST week I got myself out of a flare.. yes ME.. completly out of a mega flare up... it was so beyond cool to have done that..  and PT was nothing... almost normal tone... im getting there.. little by little I am.
my T really helps me, wish I didnt have to cancel tomorrow... i kinda think I need him this week... i need something. 

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