the never ending flare

it is like some rollercoaster ride.   and Im really scared this will not go away or calm down.   
ok I have so many factors contributing to this mess.... I have my period now trying to kill me, which it has not done in months...maybe a year.   It hasnt started and it does this thing where it just hangs on....and then I just wait until it graces me with its presence.   so im treating a uti that may or may not really be a UTI.... and it has caused havoc on my system.... my stomach once again is in constipation mode, so much so that I had to do two shot of milk of magnesia...just to ease the pain, but I think it flare my bladder or something has flared it.  

the burning urination is gone though so for that I am thankful...but this pain is so horrid....... I just want the period to start already.    I also feel so emotional....  for the most part friends have really stepped it up...calling , and checking in on me........ I like the support, really value them....and the distractions they have created.   but it sucks when I am the one slipping and Im normally the one to be strong and offer support....sucks that I was doing so good and now not so.  

in a blink of an eye all was washed away.  One friend wrote to me tonite, it will calm down it has in the past and it will again you just have to be patient...........and I guess that is what i will have to be patient. but it is tough when everything is on fire , burning away...  ugh.    this is a living nightmare. 

so I am just going to pray this works out, heck I made it thru worse flares... the fissure debacle.....that took forever to recover from...the eating gluten and having constipation for quite sometime.... so bad I couldnt even get self PT.   so I made it thru all of that.....and then had a very good period....so maybe this is just another dip....that will allow me to have another great period in time.   I refuse to let my mind wonder...I just want the pain to stop..... I think once my period arrives I will feel much better...probably drained but better. 

it is funny because I am usually so protective of my PFD....but right now I just want to get thru the moment.... thru the pain.....and the PFD will take care of itself.

there is not one trigger I can think of that would have stirred all of this up...nothing....and that is what is so difficult about this.  I have to just adapt and know that things will just work out.