Thursday, August 4, 2011

Full Circle- UTI Hell

as I entered that door- I recalled that cold winter day back in 2006 when I had first visited the urgent care..... the Dr thought it was just a UTI.... and it ended up never going away.

today- I entered again- after going thru a week of what I thought was the PC muscle recovering from PT, then a food flare.... and then some odd thing only involving the left side of the vulva..... I said this is not going awayt his is getting worse this has to be an infection.  but which one.... yeast, UTI... wtf!

so I peed in the cup...and they checked it and came in and said it was positive for nitrites and wbc...and trace amount of blood (possibly due to me having IC) blah, sucks.       So I told them what usually works for me...and they will be sending it out for culture.   By the amount of pain I am in right now I am certain it is ecoli.  I just hope something cultures, because then I will know for sure it is not yeast.

this sucks though the pain is terrible...and I went to PT (yes I must be insane) but some of this felt like muscles...but during the session she said they probably would just go back to tight (great so wasted money possible) atleast externally was corrected which again took

So, at one point the PT says this is what I was saying when things just happen when you are going along fine...then you deal with that and see where you are.... pt is super supportive ....but this is frustrating....I actually wish i could be more like them the non worrying type.... that never doubts they will be back to baseline again... but I fear this.....
im not afraid to admit I am afraid this is 06 all over again..... maybe it is the fact I no longer see my NP....and this is the first UTI without them. on board.... with the encouragement that this will get better- I take the meds and come back for a recheck.... 

my family doesnt seem to understand -as they have had UTI's and still expect me to do things for them next week that I know I cannot...I am being told I have to...well I cant unless I really improve drastically.    even when i say I have IC they say yes and I have been screaming in pain with UTI's ugh...frustrating as all I just stop trying to explain.  

so yea, I am without a real urologist following me and that was OK, when I wasnt having as many bladder flares... but now it seems like things are back to who knows what this UTI will do to the state of the bladder. 
I just hope this is what this is, because why on earth would it just affect the left side...wth!   I try to just focus on other things , but it is so tough mentally let alone to physically deal with this..... 

I need this to just go away and I will never ever take my daily symptoms for granted again.   being able to sit is first on the list.

So for the next few days I am just going to try and rest- as boring as that is...i have a UTI to recover from and kind of a double whamy of sorts. I will try to remain positive and focus on knowing I will get thru this and not allow fear to grab hold.   fingers crossed something shows up on the culture too!

I guess sometimes we are given things like this to show us just how bad it really could be...and even though we werent 100% - how far we really have come...... 

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