Saturday, December 31, 2011

the final day of 2011

I guess it is normal to be a bit reflective as the year closes.  However, as 9PM rolled in I found myself rather depressed an alone-   I could just picuture everyone out and about at the parties...  friends were posting on FB to parties I wasnt asked to attend- and well my imagination got the best of me.

but a funny thing happened- the closer it got to midnite the less down I felt- I spent the last few min of 2011 ringing in the new year with a friend who also has the three amigos as her friends...   I got a surprise phone call...
and then the nite suddenly became much brighter...  a neighbor on his trumpet, kids in the street and fireworks lighting up the sky....  I went outside , in the fresh air  and soaked it all in... enjoying it all... not wanting any of it to end.   I still find myself wanting to go back out there for one more finale. 
so I made it thru one of the loneliness New Years ever...

I have a lot to do to work on me in 2012-
I must get back on track with a routine to work on these muscles
I have to sleep better and eat better
limit stress
live more for me
in away i feel some relief, but also so pressure as to what is instore for me in 2012
I never want to relive a year like 2011 ever again, it did not treat me well at all.   I learned a ton, but at a great cost.

so- as i stand here typing this i feel my PFD is tight... but I have hope that this year I will improve like never before- I have hope and a chance

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