Monday, February 4, 2013


You know those photos where you can highlight certain colors to accent a certain shade? The apt in the Dr office was like that photo. I noticed immediatley the purple stability ball used as a chair behind the Dr desk ( i have a purple ball at home) Then as he sat down I noticed he was wearing a purple tie with purple pinstriped shirt. and there across the desk was me.. wearing a purple sweater. and I thought for a moment what it must have looked like for the student seated beside us. Did they notice the color scheme as well? I didnt say anything.. but I thought to myself how ironic this all is. ... anyway... back to the appt itself I decided to go back to one of the Dr i have seen in the past to rule out/in and infection. As fate would have it they had a cancellation for today. There is usually a very long wait to get into see them.. so I was thankful. I drive down.. and think this isnt so bad... I drive through the city and remember all those times i would drive down those same streets in burning V pain. I remember the time my dad had to drive me because i was too sick to drive.. ouch there goes my neck.. have to massage it at the next light. Finally I arrived and found a spot to park and I made my way across the lot into the doors of the hospital and up via the elevator. I was mentally preparing for all I had to remember to ask the Dr. Upon arriving i was greated by the very nice staff ( not something one with the V is used to or atleast not me ) I was relaxed and I made myself as comfy as I could be as i waited. I read some breast exam pamphlets and other hormone stuff out on the tables.. wondering when I would hear my name when in the distance over the hum of the heating systme i heard my name. Undress from the waist down.. ( havent heard that in ages i thought) Wow the table of insturments no longer makes me nervous. I dont feel nervous. The dr comes in with a nurse and a student. asks my permission for them to be in the room.. wow. The Q- tip test- not bad.. wow.. im shocked.. have i really come this far... no.. wait that burns a bit.. but very slight. hmmm then the speculum... well that HURT.. pinching pain.. and a lot of spasm.. even when it wasnt openend all the way it was the larger not used to the large ones and this friggin hurts... ugh.. I was in a flare already this sux. The Dr is quick and is saying that the pinching is probably coming from the outside. while on the table i silently disagreed as in the past the outside burn wouldnt have allowed the speculum.. this was deeper inside.. bladder??? muscles.. I dunno. Ok speculum out.. that didnt hurt coming out.. this is new to me.. wow. So, that also tells me it was deaper inside the pain ok, now for the digital exam.. ugh.. this hurts .. too fast movments with muscles in spasm... arghhhh. time to get dressed.. that was quick.. time for me to get dressed and go next door to talk. No infection... im doing much better than the last visit two years ago. In fact the Dr joked with the student about how he did not pay for me to come into the office that day bc earlier they were discussing how PT helps patients.. and there i was probably one of the PT success stories or atleast stories where the muscled refer burning. anyway... he was concered about me still having so much pain with the speculum and again defended his opinion it was coming from the outside.. i still disagree. he suggests cream... this time gabapentin, baclo, amnatriptalyne.. i remark how the last cream caused itching and burning he felt it was the base. I disagree. So, it was time to shell out the cash for the parking and drive home down the bumpy streets with muscles in spasm... but the V wasnt burning. i could live.. just wish the spasm wasnt so bad. as i type this i am in spasm with some V burn on the left. The spots that were tender were 4 and 8. which coincide with where my muscles have been tight. Overall i see this as progress .. i am still flaring and was made temporarly worse by the exam... but i will get out of the flare in time. So, i would say the purple day turned out not so bad after all.

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