S is for Setback

In all fairness to my body - I have done way more than I physically should have the last two weeks....

that being said the analytical me- really wants to know how I can go from a tone of a zero to now a tone of a

2/3-with the dreaded PC tight....arggggh

I think I am slooowly coming to the relazation that on some level my brain has to stop trying to analyze this.... things arent black and white... not even grey.... often there are no answers.
What I lost today was hope- on some level I saw the sign of a zero as my body finally being able to cope with increased activities.........what I missed was the fact that the tone of zero probably shouldnt have been.


If you think about it - those that are familiar with SIJD-  the joint needs muscles to stabalize it.......... I was doing no strenghtening at all...... the zero never should have been.  

that being said it did happen, so on some level I really do think my muscles are improving.

I sat there with tears in my eyes though at the pt session.... the PT is very supportive told me to remember  how far I have really come... look back.... because this new baseline.... is much different than how I was in the past.   So very true.  and I will hold onto that.
the reality blow though was when they said that this is something that will need to be managed...not something that will go away. 
I have been viewing it as such- I just wish I was better and knowing what was wrong and how to correct it myself before the downward cascade starts. I have to wonder will I ever be able to do self PT correctly....

Im back to watching how I sit, and after basically just living more free... this is so rough.  it is almost like I am afraid to move... even right now as I type this I wonder am I somehow affecting the muscles Iand the joint.
 I also am noticing that this is more SI joint that is what sets everything else off.  frustrating beyond words...but also somewhat of a breakthru that I am able to pinpoint what is causing me pain. 

my goals still remain.... walking a block
strenghtening
adding stretching.  

as I drove home today it seemed like everything was in slow motion- Im not sure why it was like that, maybe a chance for me to stop and take in the small things in life...   I just wish the three amigos didnt control my life so much... if only i could just stay aligned.... I think I would be so much better.