Wednesday, September 28, 2011

the Dr marathon has began

Im going to just write about todays appointment........ Im so was 2hrs with a cardiologist...most of which was testing.   Im laying here now with a heart monitor on..which is itching the shit out of me.   Im not supposed to sleep on my side, but with my PFD issues... that is how I sleep.   Not sure if this will even show anything at all.

the Cardio didnt seem to know what to make of my symptoms.   and I got a bit annoyed when he asked ' how are your nerves'   I had to think for a moment...what was he talking about here... because when someone says nerves to me... I think real nerves.   So I asked for clarification...and then he said how is your stress, anxiety... ever been to a psychiatrist.... I thought WTF....   the Dr last week asked similar... I have to wonder if these are standard questions now... I am so far removed from Dr... that this kinda stung a bit.   I wish it was just 'nerves"  asses all of them..   

I have a lot of new scary I lay here...something is wrong with my throat... I did have some chicken broth... but it is like menthol is in my throat...a very odd sensation that sort of pulses..   I have many new symptoms..  
eye floater is worse
cant seem to sleep
startle reflex has increased
cognitive dysfunction is very bad
driving makes things worse...
somewhat off balance and dizzy...
cant get out of bed in the morning.

Im living in mold too and I know that isnt helping anything as I lay here I can smell it, but cant find another place to live and that is stress alone... but so not causing these odd symptoms.
I think they maybe hormonal too... I am more sensitive, my period is sort of starting with the normal brown spotting.   I dont know what to make of any of t his but it mostly started while on the cipro or after...with that constipation.

I just feel so wtf is going on already with that too... sensitive to so many things right now...and so tired of being sick and alone.   guess I need to build up my support network again. I lost someone I thought was going to be there...they sort of are coming back...but it is causing more stress for me to have them in the picture...Im not sure what to do about it really- damned if I do damned if I dont.... but I think something will have to give.  I will sleep on it for now.

I am still living
my GI system seems to be recovering, very very slowly but recovering...and I am beyond thankful for that...   having a BM daily is a gift from God.   just wish I could gain some weight. 

will be thankful when this monitor is off of me for good. tomorrow morning...

I feel like I just need a good cry. 

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