Saturday, September 3, 2011

Satruday nite setback

As I lay here at 2AM on a Saturday nite I have to wonder will this setback ever end.?   This reaches beyond the pelvis and seems to be more systemic.  

This is technically day one of the period...which is usually not all that bad... but for some reason the last two months have brought with it more burning.  Although last month I was getting thru that UTi....or the UTI that wasnt..

I have the usual day one pains- more intense though and even had some jabs early on tonite while I lay on the heating pad.  
Ive been having odd reactions to foods too like the cereal- yesterday after I ate it I fell asleep and had yet another bought of sleep paralysis...then this morning woke up feling drugged.   and more sleep paralysis last nite.   Im not sure what to make of any o this... because this is also what happened the last time I ate this same cereal and the reason that I stopped.
this morning I ate it and didnt seem to have that reaction.  I dont know what to make of it.
the fissure continues to be horrid...and BM's are so messed up.

the vulva burning is back...yes you read that correctly it is back.   It sux...and I am having a difficult time dealing with it...I am mentally drained from it.
good news I guess is that the PC muscle was tight on the right side during the last session....which is my patter for the V pain.... I also was having more redness.
but as you can imagine I am not at all happy about this.   Something in July triggered this...and now it flares up now and then after being quite for MONTHS.

weight loss is bad too again....  like i said my entiere body is very pissed off right now and I just wish it would calm down already.   Im doing the best I can do to cope... while making sure I eat atleast three meals a day no matter what.   Im praying that I will get back to baseline...and my body remembers what it is like to have the PC not flare...the fissure to be  healed etc.

how on earth does one go from a PF tone of a zero to such a is just so not fair.

some often view setbacks like this as a time to revist something...maybe to find another piece to this maybe that is my time now........... I just want this burning to go away and for things to be back to baseline...gaining weight would be a good place to start...four lbs would be wonderful

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