Saturday, October 1, 2011

dont over think

I'm trying to remember these words my PT told me at the last session. She is so beyond right....and this reaches even outside the PT rhealm of things.

Ive been so used to trying to figure otu my own health that I am constantly over thinking things.
she told me that is what she is there for...so if an excercise she suggests doesnt work for me I will tell her and she will figure out why and where to go from there.   So, that is what I have been doing with the physical part... Im just going with it.

I am happy to report that my PC muscle on the right is back to normal...in fact the whole right internal was close to normal..the left was tighter but not by much..........so conclusion the fissure was driving those muscles to stay tight.   I never thought I would reach this point and here I am.  so it is time to add in the strenghtening to it.... and try to regain some muscles.

My period this month has been heavy and Im still dealing with those other symptoms that no Dr can figure out.
and on top of that two friends who were part of y support network...are just causing me too much angst.

I t hink I just need to retreat inward for awhile...  and just be by myself...   it is just hurtful to be going thru all of this and then hav more hurt on top of it.  Im sure I am just more sensitive now...but still.   neither of them have any issues with me...or atleast they never bring it up to me...it is always me having issues with them.  

I just wish I could get my life back...... so I wouldnt need this type of support...  maybe it is time now to be my own support system once again.   sucks though    ...I just feel so alone.

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