letter to my former PT as i try and heal

Dear PT there isn't a day that goes by that I don't cry ..although i only allow myself part of the day to let myself feel all my feelings and process the loss. my medical world will never be the same. i've honed in on all you taught me remembered most of our sessions i've medisteted and even remembered your techniques i think you would have been proud of me advocating for myself when i was left with no use of my legs, pelvis and tspine i directed and showed her all you did and guess what my Tspine came back on,one , my plevis evened out ..there were no words when i felt it engaged again all of our hard work brought back to life then it was onto the next...and for that she used her training and expertise but all along i've said it's been the adductors from day one that PT did the met that botched me it was and it is ..they are working in overdrive this new one ...pt#4 she's afraid ..i have to assure her i can tolerate more pressure my body need more so there we were debating the placement of a rib and i said no it needs back trust me once i feel it's out my body will not be aligned now that i do know it's been stirred up even if my pt left it ...it's now disturbed you have to put it back she didn't want to she did some woke on my neck but always says how tight.... you never said that you said some is just my normal tone i hate this ...hate it why were you taken so suddenly why won't you answer her again why i then asked for cold laser..she must have been pressed for time as she ran out to grab it she does the cold laser never checks my alignment again i'm quick to dress and she flings off the sheets all in a rush you never rushed me you were always calm... you were never frazzled like this you gave me peace when my body had none , hope when i had none you got me back my life i hope one day we cross paths and can laugh at all this all these wackos that can't help they think to much aren't cautious enough oh my pcp was shocked i was crying even more shocked at how my body looked, deep curve in my back i couldn't walk or stand or sit he calmed me much like you would ..he said to not count you out yet and it maybe something in your contract i'm just not so sure i don't get why you didn't reply again to PT#4 he thinks you will resurface and the truth will come out and it won't be pretty i sure hope so. last nite i found an old email you sent after a tspine adjustment ... i used what you said in it and it helped me tremendously the current one is clueless i will use her until everything is back online and then i'm done and just hope maybe you will resurface i'm also on restrictions not to walk far only on my driveway and around the house i wish i knew what really was going in with you and if i would ever hear again it would help with my healing most of all if all they say is the truth i hope you are getting better and i hope have your own healing going on