we all tried but none of us heard back

we all typed up emails ... all in the back of our minds wondering what really happened our minds couldn't comprehend what happened as our bodies struggled ..oh how we all struggled. i've come back to this blog to vent to get this off my chest to get this all on record i sent a somewhat mean email to her ..i guess i thought perhaps if she saw what i was going thru she would appear but the email hasn't been opened she has indeed vanished i'm worse and the new person hasn't replied like she always would ... i'm left to rot in pain ..i texted the office asking if i could get in sokner if there was a wait list ...last weekend they replied today nothing i barely hanging in, urine retention can't goto the bathroom everything is stuck all the external muscles like wtf she knew how to fix this how to mai gain it and i'm so fucked like really fucked it's hard enough but when you finally find someone and then they vanish and you are made worse etc like wtf so yes we all sent msgs and they all went u read...just left in an inbox like she's dead, but only she isn't she isn't ..... there are patients like me being made worse and not knowing it ... lives being altered and she couldn't have told me straight up on the 15th she was leaving ..she didn't she lied i missed her by a day...i rescheduled which is the worst decision i ever made , ever this is horrid , they all knew internally at the office and hid it like it's some twisted f up game you play with all of us i'm mad and i'm not sure what to do who can help me and now i can't even goto the bathroom who does this to patients ? today i'm angry very angry ...there hasn't been a day i haven't cried since you left it's been three months since she treated me ...my body can't hang on much longer