now pain with sitting

so since that bad pt session i now have pain with sitting back again...something is off as i haven't had thisnis years . i'm not doing well at all... i just force fed myself some chicken and a sandwhich but to be honest i could go days without eating. i can't calm down my nervous system for the life of me ... the pain is ten times my baseline it's horrific ..it's foreign and it's scary as a heck... i've ordered twice from a local place using uber eats ..ironically the same delivery guy...after the last delivery and him thanking me i just thought the guy has no clue i just dragged myself out if bed and will eat and then climb back into bed ...i tipped him the usual amount probably more than most would given all those added fees... i figure he's nice enough, not bad looking and who knows what pain he hides . the food is good actually and it's better than force feeing myself ....but the price along with the suddenly added pt expense is too much ... i know by laying in bed all day i'm most likely making myself worse but i can't sit now ...i'm scared ...i wasn't that bad and now i'm so much worse in pain for well over a month...and with pain u never want it to go this long soon it will be chronic it's a deep pain coming from my back tomorrow i'm seeing my dad's friend who does massage it's not cheap and yhenirony my dad's the reason i missed the last pt session i still cry everyday , i still wonder what really happened , i still look for an email or text from her i'm no stranger to people that treat me getting sick.. years ago word reached us fast a well known dr had cancer another dr office sent out a letter that due to his divorce he had a breakdown and retired ..later an attorney told me he lost it on the stand during a court proceeding this though this with my pt this is different this was plotted and thought out ...they knew doe two months they let her treat while being not well mentally not stable when thenownwr says thenpt didn't tell a soul she means herself she is projecting she knew as an owner and didn't tell us ... she allowed us to still schedule and her pt was due to leave in december she didn't give a frack and i hope someone sues because i doubt no one will be injured because of this whole mess if she was so ill then i'm sure she harmed someone the owner told me the pt wouldn't have been able to help me and i was too shocked to say oh really so u let her treat ill isn't that a liability ? they are scum of the earth i still have no records going on a month now ... they are evil pos i'm mad at the pt too knowing how i needed her couldn't have been upfront with me ...was so ill yet replied right away a week prior on her day off you all are such trash honestly i have no respect ...if it was sudden i would get that ...it wasn't you just didn't care about me you lied perhaps the office should have told up i'm now way worse , worse than i've been in years ...the pt has no fracking care all i was is a number all an act for years betrayal is what it is....after i get my records i'm going to a library and writing a review i don't wat patients thinking this office is top notch it's piss pour